I don't know why but I am having a REALLY hard time w/ the fact that Jackson turned 1 on July 6th. Each of the boys' first birthdays have been special and have caused me to reflect on the year gone by, but Jack's seems to be even more so.
I don't think it's because he's the last one, because I really do believe that ultimately Steven and I will have one more. Maybe it's because time just keeps speeding up on me and each of the boys's babyhoods have seemed to go by faster and faster.
It really does not seem like a year ago that we brought this precious boy home to join our family. I loved that he was a total cuddler and slept best next to me in his co-sleeper in our bed. I threw the whole "they should be in their own bed" thing to the wind, knowing full well that this stage was going to pass in a blink, and I needed to soak it up while I could.
I think that in his infanthood, Steven got up w/ Jackson only a handful of times. This was not because he was a lazy or sleepy dad (because Lord knows I have been blessed w/ a husband who seems to come by "fathering" naturally and very willingly), but rather because I was so happy to do it myself. Those times in the middle of the night when it was just Jack and I, are times I will treasure forever. Quiet, warm, the smell of a new baby cuddling in to be close,and receive comfort from me. Wonderful.
But, I blinked. And now he is 1. He is into everything, exploring and learning every possible second that he can. He does not like to be contained in his high chair or his crib (unless it is bedtime and then it is okay), and he loves nothing more than trailing after Cole and Aidan. His brothers are his heroes. The sun seems to rise and set around them in Jack's eyes, and as always, if he is upset all it takes is some attention from the "big boys" and all is well.
So often when I am out and about running errands during the day, people will comment on "how full my hands must be" with my three boys. "Boys are so busy" they will say. "Boys keep their mom's on their toes", the offer. True, my boys do keep me busy, and they do keep me on my toes, and yes, my hands are very full. But my hands are not nearly as full as my heart, and I am so very happy to have them all. Every one of them offers me something new each day, and while I am a bit melancholy about the fact that my baby is already 12 months old, I look so forward to every memory that has yet to be made and all the smiles that are yet to be shone.
Happy Birthday, Jackson. We love you more than you will ever know.
