The Bereaved Mother

1/31/2012        10:34 a.m

Don't judge the bereaved mother...

Do not judge the bereaved mother.

She comes in many forms.

She is breathing, but she is dying.

She may look young, but inside she has become ancient.

She smiles, but her heart sobs.

She walks, she talks, she cooks,

she cleans, she works, she IS

but she IS NOT all at once.

She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity.

A child that loses a parent is an orphan.

A husband that loses his wife is a widower.

A wife who loses her husband is a widow.

However, there is no word for a parent that loses a child.

For there is no word to describe such pain.

-author unknown

*(I found this poem on a blog and I feel it hits the nail on the head.  This is how I feel all day, every day.  Also, every time it says the word “mother”, we can surely substitute “father” because Steven feels it too.  It sucks, this life of being a bereaved parent)*

Steven and I went to a Tears meeting last week (or the week before, I can’t remember).  It’s a group for parents who have lost a baby.  So far, we have attended 2 Compassionate Friends meetings, 1 Bridges meeting and 1 Tears meeting.  We seem to be support group junkies.  :O/

The Tears meeting was by far the one that hit closest to home.  These people “really get it”.  The loss of a child is horrible regardless of age and circumstance, but each grief is a bit different.  The grief of losing a child to prolonged illness is different than the grief of losing a child to traumatic accident, is different still than the grief of losing a baby.  And the couples at the Tears meeting can meet us exactly where we are in this process.  There is just a little less we have to explain to them because they understand. 

We look forward to going back at the end of February. 

I have also been looking at more blogs written by bereaved mothers and fathers.  It is enough to rip a person’s heart out, but again, it is more reassurance that we are not walking this terribly sad road alone.  Even though it is dark and horribly uncertain, I am seeing that there are people all around us walking it as well.