All the Beautiful Things

3/13/2012         1:33 p.m

Dear Brynna,

Oh how much I’ve missed you.  Daddy and I just got back on Sunday from our 7 day cruise with Matt and Rita, and while we had a wonderful time, I am so glad to be home where I can be “with you”.  To be able to hear your wind chime gently blowing outside and to be able to go into your room to talk to you, brings me peace.  It brings me sadness but it also brings me peace.

There was one night on the trip when I told Daddy I just had to stay in the room, and not go to dinner with everyone.  I was missing you so much and my heart was aching to spend some quiet time, just remembering you.  For many hours, I cried (sobbed), prayed, listened to music, slept and then woke and did it all again…over and over again.

There is something so very therapeutic about giving into the pain now.  It reminds my soul how much I love you, and will always love you.  There will never be a time in which I am disconnected from you.  You are in everything I see, and everything I do.

One thing I realized while on the beach in St. Maarten is that it is sometimes harder to be in the happy moments, and see the beautiful things this world is made up of, because you are in all of those moments, you are in all of those beautiful things, and I miss you all the more…

I want to see your chubby little hand holding onto Daddy’s strong hand as you stand barefoot in the sand and jump over the waves.  I want to hear your sing-song voice shrieking with excitement as you feel the water rush over your sandy feet.  I want to be able to wrap you up in a warm, soft towel and dry your sunkissed face.  Jackson gets freckles when his face meets the summer sun, would yours have too?

I see you in all the beautiful things, sweet girl.  You are everywhere and I love you.

All the Beautiful Things

When the sun touches my skin and warms me through,

I feel you.

When the birds greet the day with their sweet song,

I hear you.

When a baby near me coos and smiles at her mother,

I see you.

When I pass a field of wild flowers blowing gently in the breeze,

I smell you.

When a tear touches my lip as I remember,

I taste you.

You, my sweet girl, are in all the beautiful things this world has to give.

You are in everything I do, everything I see. 

My heart beats to the rhythm of your memory, always remembering.

Forever loving.

When I wake up each morning and try to sum up the courage to go on, you are there. 

You, Brynna, are all the beautiful things.

Love,

Momma

"She is in all of the beautiful things"