Wednesday, October 3, 2012

We Remember...Will You Please Join Us?

October 3, 2012                                                                         10:10 a.m


That’s what I find myself doing the great majority of my day. 

Remembering what it was like to be happy.  Remembering what it was like to be na├»ve.  Remembering when I used to think that if you were a good person, good would come your way, and that somehow you would be protected from the atrocious pain that life had a habit of throwing at other people.

I spend my hours remembering my daughter.  My sweet Brynna Elizabeth.  I remember holding her skin to skin on my chest on Halloween of last year, the one and only time I was able to do that.  I remember the feel of her soft head and the warmth of her tiny hands.  I remember how beautiful her lips were and how the tips of her ears had just the slightest elf like point to them.  I remember.

That’s all we can do I guess, is remember.

Steven and the boys and I are fortunate to have people around us that remember our daughter too.  Whether it’s through tender words written in letters, through money raised and steps taken in a walk a thon, through warm hugs and open ears, we know there are so many who remember.

Last month, we were able to remember Brynn in yet another way.

My parents, who are two of the kindest, most supportive, loving people you will ever know, donated money to have Brynn’s name engraved on a monument created by the Tears Foundation.

The monument is in tribute to all of the angel babies that have left us far too soon.  It is located at Bonny Watson Memorial Park in SeaTac and it is beautiful.

After Brynna’s memorial service, we brought her ashes home with us.  Steven and I felt, and still feel, we want her close to us, in the warmth of our home, until we know where he and I will be and then she’ll be there with us.

But in having her name permanently engraved somewhere, I feel her legacy lives on even stronger.  Now, when others stop to take a moment and remember their baby at the memorial, they will see my baby’s name too, and they will remember her in the way only a grieving parent knows how.

Below are some pictures from the unveiling on September 9th.

Thank you, Mom and Dad for your generous hearts and loving support.  I know you miss your granddaughter, and I am so thankful that you remember her with such love and tenderness.  What a lucky girl.

Brynn's birthday is coming and I'm not entirely sure what that is going to look like yet, but I do have one request to any and all of you who are out there thinking of us and reading this.  Would you take a moment sometime in the upcoming weeks to stop and remember our sweet Brynn?  Would you light a candle, or perform a random act of kindness for someone in her name, or write a note, or listen to a song, or say a prayer for her?  

Would you, if possible, take a moment to take a picture, leave a comment, send a text, leave a voicemail letting us know how you remember her?  

It is only by remembering our sweet baby that she will live on.

Today, I lit candles around the house and by her pink glass baby candle, I left a note:

"Today and all days, I remember.  I love you, baby girl.  Love, Momma"

1 comment:

Lisa Sissons said...

I just read your blog back from the blog hop we host at Dear Finley. I am always amazed to find blogs where mothers feel the same as me, as though they take the words right out of my mind. Yours does this.

Your story is so similar to ours, but with some stark differences. I'm so sorry that you know this pain.

Sending love to the Finnegan family, and especially little Brynna.